A stinky little critter

With a white stripe or two

You vex me and my garden

I just can't deter you.

Stealing my best crops

You sneak in during the night

Just the mere sight of you

Gives me quite a fright.

You dig holes under my fence

And burrow under my house

Last year you came alone

This year you've brought your spouse.

Like a friend who has overstayed

You're just not welcome anymore

Especially when I get a morning whiff of you

Right outside of my back door.

Though you're cute and appear so docile

You're acquaintance I don't want to keep

I don't need your pungent aroma

To keep waking me from my sleep.

So your access I must deny

Before it gets too late

I don't want any kits next year

Toddling after you and your new mate.

It's time for you to move on

Winter is coming soon

Please don't den up in my yard

I need room for the raccoons.