Once upon a time, on a cold, drizzly morning, an eager Master Gardener set out to prune some grapevines in a faraway land, in Winters. Armed with two pairs of freshly sharpened loppers, one ratcheted and another one with telescoping handles, she braved the almost empty freeway to freedom from self-isolation, to cure her cabin fever. Her destination: the Wolfskill Experimental Orchards, a repository (a living library of now-obscure fruit) includes stonefruit (peach, plum, nectarine, apricot, almond, prune), grape, walnut, pistachio, persimmon, walnut, olive, pomegranate, fig, and kiwifruit germplasm.

https://ucanr.edu/sites/wolfskill2/

Upon arrival at the orchards, she contacted by cellphone, Bernie Pits, horticulturist extraordinaire, master of grape pruning and everything grape related. With a sprayer labeled Ethyl OH (alcohol for sanitizing and keeping him germ-free), Bernie Pits showed the eager MG  to the row of dormant grapevines where she would spend the next few hours of her newfound freedom.

After a short instruction on what and what not to do: like keeping both hands on the loppers, to avoid cutting your fingers, and maintaining social distancing, Bernie also pointed out that the rain had stopped.

He also said to cut off the previous year's main branches and all other branches, except for two that will serve as the current year's main branches where the current years' new stems will grow from and bear fruit.

https://ucanr.edu/sites/gardenweb/Growing_Grapes_in_the_California_Garden/?uid=29&ds=436

With enthusiasm and vigor, the MG tackled the vines one at a time, very slowly at first, as self-doubt kept her from deciding the fate of each branch. But as she moved on in the row, she gained confidence and pruned faster. She also started tying new main branches to the two horizontal wires to keep them from flopping around and attacking her in the face.

Lunch hour came and went, but the eager MG refused to stop and eat. She went down the row of grapevines like the professional gardener she once was, energized by the cloudy, cool day she was accustomed to when she lived on the coast.

But alas, all good things must come to an end. Hunger starts to creep in, her shoulders start to ache; she knew it was time to bid farewell to the grapevines. There was a lot more to prune, but number 40 was a good number for stopping.

She yelled to Bernie from two rows over about her intent to ease her hunger pangs and her departure. He thanked her for all her help and sadly let her go. The famished and worn-out MG walked to her car and the waiting cold pizza she made the night before. She gazed one more time at her row of grapevines to admire her work and the mountains in the distance as if in a chorus, they were saying. “JOB WELL DONE! ‘Til we meet again”.

On the ride home, the radio station announced that Napa County was asking its residents to shelter-in-place. Later that night, she learned that Solano County has done likewise.

The next day, the governor announced the shelter-in-place mandate for all Californians.

So with her wild pruning adventure in her heart and memory, this MG shelters at home with her husband and their three chickens and lived happily ever after. THE END.