I'll guess writer Ron Sullivan's word choice reveals him as a "hipster," a moniker attached to people who, according to Wikipedia, are young, recently-settled urban adults and older teenagers with interests in non-mainstream fashion and culture, particularly alternative music, independent rock, independent film and magazines.

Here's some of Sullivan's hipster terminology and my own translations:

On the other tentacle - on the other hand
Gimcrack - gimmick
Wonks - experts
Gooses - disrupts

The article suggests Sullivan attended one of UC Berkeley plant pathologist Matteo Garbelleto's SOD workshops. Sullivan explains two SOD treatments - injecting Agri-fos into tree cambium and mixing finely-ground dry commercial compost into soil around plants (like California bay laurel) that harbor the organism that causes SOD.

Sullivan concludes that Garbelotto’s hands-on demo is the easiest way to learn these techniques and he provides the particulars for upcoming workshops:

1–3 p.m. Nov. 4, and 1-3 p.m. Dec. 9 at UC Berkeley. For more details, click here.