After the raucous California budget struggle and an impending drought, Californians might enjoy a tidbit from the Early County News in Blakeley, Georgia. The story notes that the world's expert on brown recluse spiders is a UC Riverside scientist and he is certain there are no populations of the frightening aracnid anywhere in California.

UC Riverside entomologist Rick Vetter has actually published a 4,000-word manifesto on the Web about brown recluse spiders titled "Myth of the Brown Recluse: Fact, Fear, and Loathing." At the end of the tirade, he emphatically states in red, all caps, THERE ARE NO BROWN RECLUSE SPIDERS LIVING IN CALIFORNIA.

A disclaimer notes that the article does not contain the opinions of the University of California, Riverside, rather "the opinions of a highly volatile arachnologist who is bloody tired of everybody claiming that every little mark on their body is the result of a brown recluse bite and who believe with a religious zeal that brown recluses are part of the California spider fauna despite the incredibly overwhelming evidence to the contrary."

Judging from the article in the Early County News, some of this same zeal can be found in Georgia, which also is not considered to be brown recluse habitat. It said University of Georgia spider expert Nancy Hinkle tracked verified brown recluse reports in Georgia from 2002 to 2008. (Hinkle was formerly a veterinary entomologist at UC Riverside.) Only 19 brown recluse spiders were identified in that time and there was only one confirmed brown recluse bite.

I'm still terrified.