AKA: Apri-NOT Butter

In this missive I shall relate to you some depressing things:

1. I purchased apricots at a store. (YIKES!)

2. Next day, I cut them up, added sugar and lemon juice and cooked it up for a jam, er, butter.

3. The result thickened/jelled but tastes like sweet-sour mystery fruit “stuff”. No 'cot flavor at all.

4. I have the equivalent of about a quart and a half mystery-fruit-apricot-jam-wannabe-butter-stuff in a tub in my refrigerator.

What most all store-bought apricots taste like.

 The above is truly a huge failure: but by my failures shall I (and) you learn.

Take Number 1:

Anyone knows that you cannot buy decent apricots in a store; where I live it is impossible. I seriously doubt that anyone can buy a decent, good apricot in any store anywhere. Good apricots canbe gotten at road side stands or farmer's markets, but not in a brick-and-mortar store, especially if they have them shipped in. And if YOU can get good apricots in a store where you live, you are truly blessed by the Apricot Deity OR you do NOT know what a truly ripe apricot tastes like.  Around here, the difference between store-bought and home-grown is just like the pictures on this page-please note!

In my area, good apricots are ONLY found on a tree. If you don't have your own tree, the best tree is usually one that is in a backyard, planted too close to a wall, and has fruit-laden branches are hanging over that wall. This means you need to be bold and run and steal that low-hanging fruit (because you KNOW it is NOT “low hanging fruit”, if you get my drift), then run to your car laughing crazily and zip off in a hurry because you are feeling so guilty about stealing. Or you knock on a door to ask permission to pick, but, of course, no one ever answers and so you are still forced to steal those fantastic apricots. But wait, you are going to drop off a jar of jam to give those not at home a thank-you for your steal, so it is not that bad, right? 

What really GOOD apricots taste like!

Well, any way, I purchased apricots at a store. And they were truly a worst-case example of the phrase “low hanging fruit” I have ever had the misfortune to experience. Some were big, some smaller. Pretty color, some dark, some not so dark. No. Aroma. What. So. Ever. But like a fool, I said to myself, I'll give them a try; it was a true case of hope springs ever-eternal in the breast of an apricot lover.

Number 2:

I cut them up, sugared them on, juiced them up and attempted to cook them down. Too much in one pan—a double batch. Undistinguished apricot flavor equals mystery fruit.

Number 3:

“Stuff” says it all. Very depressing.

Number 4:

It now resides in my fridge. Should I process and can it? If I do, would I even consider giving it out for gifts—nope, I would be embarrassed to give it for a gift unless I labeled it “Mystery Fruit” jam. And if I did can it up, what would I use it for? Maybe I will can some up and use it for some barbecue glaze or base for a grilling sauce.

If you want to do the following recipe, “For the love of God, Montresor!” make sure you do it with wonderful apricots from someone's back yard!

So below is the recipe I used. It is from So Easy To Preserve. I tried, but it turned into a soft mystery-fruit jam. Need I mention to NOT double the recipe?

I wish you the absolutely best of luck. Maybe you will get mine!

Apricot Jam (if it fails, you call it butter, or syrup, or sundae topping or . . . and I didn't peel the apricots!)

From "So Easy To Preserve", Cooperative Extension Service, University of Georgia, Third Edition.

Makes about 10 half-pint jars.

2 quarts crushed, peeled apricots

6 cups sugar

1/4 cup lemon juice

Sterilize canning jars. Combine all ingredients; slowly bring to boiling, stirring occaisionally until sugar dissolves. Cook rapidly until thick, about 25 mintues. As mixture thickens, stir frequently to prevent sticking. Pour hot jam into hot jars, leaving 1/4 inch headspace. Wipe jar rims and adjust lids. Process 10 minutes in a boiling water bath.